Friday, September 9, 2011

Mommy Brain Sensitive Juice

There is a part of the mommy’s brain that holds the Sensitive Mommy Brain Juice.  The concoction is made up of 1 part guilt, 1 part defensive, and 1 part sheer terror.  The juice will always be there whether it’s working at a very high level or maybe you’ve gotten pretty laid back by your fourth kid and the juice is barely noticeable . But you will always have it.  New moms have the most sensitive levels and I know this because six years ago my brain juice was almost always in an active, exploding, confused, defensive, guilty state!
I have such a burden and heavy heart for new pregnant moms.  I know what it’s like to walk in those shoes.  I know the size, the feel, and every bump and bend of those prego flip flops.   SO MANY CHOICES.  Natural childbirth or medically influenced, breastfeed or bottle feed, schedule or cue feed, vaccinations or none, space the siblings or just get it all done, chemical birth control or other means, baby sleep on the back or the belly…so…many…choices.  We each really want to get this mommy thing RIGHT.  And when you pick a side and you happen to be talking to a mom from the other side…oh dear…the mommy brain juice brings on that three part concoction and it is not fun.  Guilt, defensive, and sheer terror.  So overwhelming. 

How about we settle this right now?   
I’m right and you’re wrong.  Okay bye

I’m SO funny….

Dear new mommies, if I could just gather you all up and tell you just three specials things this is what they would be…
1.  1.  Individual, Individual, Individual. How amazing that God chose that man, out of millions of options in this world, to be your man.  And how amazing that God has chose YOU to be your child’s mommy and none other.  This means that He will work individually and uniquely with your family.  Do what works for YOUR family.  Everyone has unique circumstances.  That’s the glory of God’s love for us.
2..        2. Research, research, research.  Why did I choose the things that I did?  Because of research.  Don’t treat childbirth or chemical birth control like it’s just another day or it’s just another drug.  Research, research, research. Read books, internet research, talk to women you respect.  Get perspective and then some more perspective and then some more perspective. Pray and research, pray and research.
3.      3.   Find your special level.  Every choice does not mean you have to go to the extreme.  Think of every choice as having two sides, one side starts at 1 and the other side ends at 10.  Take scheduling vs. cue feeding as an example.  I would say I’m about a 3 towards cue feeding.  Just because I chose to cue feed does not mean I have to go to the extreme stereotype that I always pictured with my child nursing until he’s 8 at any hour of the day.  That’s someone who’s at a 1 (or maybe a -3).  Every choice does not mean you need to go the extreme side.  That was a huge eye opener for me with my first baby.  Find what number on the scale works for you.

Be intentional in your choices and gracious with the choices of others.  Dear friends, be so extremely gracious when sharing your choices.  I have found such joy in sharing and teaching others the wonderful blessings that have come from my childbirth, breast feeding, co sleeping, and ext choices!  It really has blessed me!  It is so encouraging how God has used my own mother’s choices and that of other people that influenced me to have such good experiences!  I have also learned and I’m still learning when to shut my mouth because I KNOW my words will activate that Sensitive Mommy Brain Juice and for goodness sake, I know how that feels.  Forgive me if I have every made your brain explode.  I truly am sorry. 

I love mommies.  They are one of my most favorite things on earth.  We take care of these little people and our nurturing arms know that they depend on every one of our choices.  They will for their whole lives.  New mommies, the choices don’t stop.  Soon you will have to choose how to discipline; home school or public/private school, video games or no video games, boxed processed foods or some organic farmer the writer knows…the choices don’t end. 

But praise God and His great love for each of us!  His brain juice never stops loving us!  Amen?  Of course amen!

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