Completed Thought for the day: Spiritual Muscles vs. Sweet Tooth

"If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small."  Proverbs 24:10

....Rachel, if you fall a part when you are not having fun but enduring discomfort, your spiritual muscles are puny....

  It's more like "minutes of adversity" at this stage of life.  I'm cheerful, I'm happy, and then one of my NOT FAVORITES ruins it all (Here they are so you know to never do these to me because I might yell "Get buckled NOW" at you : running late, unnecessary messes, biting, disastrous messy house)  There is something built inside of me that craves comfort and demands peace and quiet.  As a mother of small children, the best birthday present you could give me is one whole day by myself.  I don't have to go anywhere or do anything.  Nothing is everything.  Peace and quiet.  Alas, I have realized that that craving for comfort and demand for peace and quiet is not fulfilling and shows that my strength is indeed small.  I have never been more aware of my wayward sinful attitude then after becoming a mother.

I have a fun sweet tooth...fun for a busy mother is peace and quiet...a fun sweet tooth doesn't mean that you NEED peace and quiet, it means that you WANT SOME.  It doesn't mean that peace and quiet is the only way that you can function, it means that it's the only way you WANT to function.  I don't NEED to be left alone to be a nice pleasant mother, I WANT to be left alone to be a nice pleasant mother.  I demand my WANTS so much from God that I end up missing all that He really desires me to NEED.

My fun sweet tooth yells louder than my spiritual muscles.

Cut it out....make the tooth shut up so you can hear your muscles.

Amen? Of course amen!

Why this Homeschooled is Homeschooling and cool stuff like that

The most frequently asked homeschooling question I received when I was a kid was "How much time do you spend doing schoolwork everyday?"....boring...
Now the most frequently asked homeschooling question I receive is basically, now mind you I paraphrase how people actually word it, "How do you think you turned out as a completely home schooled child?"...now this is an exciting question to answer so everyone set down and enjoy your morning coffee and I'll tell you about it.  I've got to be quick though because I'm running a private school out of my home and it opens in about 30min.

This will not be a blog post to try to convince you to home school.  It will not be a blog post to pull my arrogant home-schooled-are-smarter-and-more-spiritual-card.  I shredded that card a while back and I hope I never come across as a pompous self righteous home educator ever again.  This is more of a thank you to what my parents did for me and my mission statement as a 2nd generation home school parent.  I hope it will be an encouragement to those who are just starting to educate their children and feel like the results are so far away and a bit vague and scary.  I didn't turn out scary, did I?  I think my public schooled husband just goof awed at me.  Again, I say this over and over: we really really don't want to mess up our kids and we really really want them to grow up to absolutely be in love with the Lord and may He please forgive us if we do anything but our very best and we know He'll take care of the rest.  Oh and also, this may surprise you but I really don't believe in using the Bible to prove that home schooling is more godly.  The truth is that educating children changes with each culture and each era and each family circumstance.  Please raise Deuteronomy 6 kids! That IS God's calling for all of us but heaven forbid that I take that passage and shove it in your face and say that I'm better than you.

I'm cooler than you though.  What?  Home schoolers are the new cool!

Okay, there are maybe 300 reasons why Richard and I chose to home school but really they could all fit under 3 categories that melt my heart with gladness when I am gathered around the table with our piles of books and piles of children.

TIME with them
There is so little of that T word right? My oldest just turned 7! That's just not okay with me. Two more of those 7's and she could be married! Their are so few years that they get to spend with us so I want them near me and loved and taught by me and my husband.  I want to be the one that teaches them to read and to be there to answer questions like "If Jesus died on the cross for our sins then why do we still sin?" or "Why did people make up all these sight words just to confuse little kids?" I want to be there and discover the creativity that comes out of nowhere.  Anna is so much like me and just want to dance and draw and write and be off in Anna Land and I love it.  I already see that Caleb is going to be over my head before I know it and I'll have to find him a science club so he can be smarter than me at the age of 8 so let me know if you hear of any smart clubs around here.

TIME with the church and the Lord
Really the only difference I saw with my private/public schooled friends that grew up with godly involved parents is that they had like 8 hours more schoolwork than I had every day.  I really felt sorry for the poor things though I secretly laughed behind all the fiction books I had time to read.  This freed me up for tons more time to be involved in ministry.  I knew kids who actually didn't get to go to youth group because they had too much homework.  Now that's just lame.  There was really nothing more important to my parents then that we be involved in church and we took every opportunity we could to serve and to learn more about the Lord.  

TIME spent is time remembered
This is hard one to explain but I'll try.  My children are in their most influential years.  Their mind is like a picture album.  Every day they put away more and more memories of conversations, songs they've learned and TV they've watched and hugs they've received and that time you made cookies with them and that book you just finished reading and how their mother gets so cranky when daddy is deployed and on and on and on.  It's all filed away in their brain.  As their mother, I want it to be filled to the brim with good influences.  With pictures of how the Lord sees everything. 

Well, I hear the troops getting restless out there.  I need to put on my bunny slippers and go read some Greek history with them. You know why my mom is the smartest person in the world?  Because she took all twelve grades 11 times in a row.  I'm only going to take them four times in a row so I'll only be a little smarter in ten years. 

Thank you, mom and dad for doing all this for me.  I think I turned out okay.  I can't spell and I make up words but honestly, I loved my childhood and I wouldn't trade it for anything.  Not even Jo March's.  Right now, I'm having tons of fun giving my kids much of the same good stuff. 

You guys have a fun day and stay as cool as home schooled.

Instructions on Don't

Don't lick your sister
Don't lick the counter
Don't lick the butter knife
And never ever never ever
Under any circumstances
Lick a porcupine

Don't chew on your pencil
Don't chew on your fingers
Don't chew on your pillow
And never ever never ever
Chew on a porcupine

Don't squeeze your juice box
Don't squeeze the baby
Don't squeeze an earthworm
And never ever never ever
Under any circumstances
Squeeze a porcupine

Don't tickle a lion or a shark
Don't tickle a tarantula or an alligator
Don't tickle a grizzly bear when it needs to go potty
And never ever never ever
Under any circumstances
Tickle a porcupine

Don't wake her dolly
Don't wake his dinosaurs
Don't wake your father
And never ever never ever
Under any circumstances
Wake a cranky porcupine

Don't spill my coffee please
DON'T spill my coffee please
DON'T SPILL my coffee please
And never ever never ever
Under any circumstances
Spill a porcupine's coffee

Pride and Procrastination:The saga of a youngish unpublished writer

Last year I discovered something rather interesting about my inner athlete.  It's that I have no inner athlete.  None whatsoever.  I was training for a half marathon because I really wanted to find some inkling of an inner athlete in this ballerina body. I truly have admired marathoners and triathaloners and the whole Olympic spirit that surrounds you people.  I love that the apostle Paul uses athletics in so many verses to describe this life we have to run for Christ and finish for His glory.  You athletes have such cool passages to inspire you.  I wanted to be inspirational like you.  But you know how it goes....by mile 10 my knee cap pretty much fell on the floor and I nudged my running buddy and said, "Hey look, my knee cap just fell on the floor" and so I went home and drank my chocolate milk and pondered...."Why can't I be like an athlete and have inspirational scriptures and proudly give Paul a high five when I get to heaven?"  I really was bummed out.  Okay, maybe for like five seconds because the inner artist in me started getting in the face of the inner athlete, that actually wasn't ever there, and saying "I know you want to be spiritual but whatever happened to the artistic thing?"  Some massive wave of creative insanity came over me at the beginning of this year.
This is where I confess...here it goes...
I am a HUGE writer NERD...
I can't get through the day without writing a poem or jotting down an idea for a childrens play.  I can't hear a song without starting to choreograph a dance in my head.  I can't look at a twisted pile of collected orchard branches without imagining a photo sitting.  I can't watch my kids laughing over some funny animal we find in our science book without writing down my next picture book.  I can't read a Bible passage without humming a melody that would suit how it makes me feel.  I can't turn it off.  It's like a broadway musical going on in my head ALL DAY LONG.  Sometimes I feel like that guy from A Beautiful Mind constantly writing notes every where and recording tunes in my iphone recorder.  I AM crazy...a fun crazy that my family doesn't seem to mind but most certainly crazy and a big fat writing nerd.  So here's the issues that I think the Lord has graciously solved in my mind over the past month...
My greatest fear in sharing my writing is this...that I would look like a show off.  That kind of freaks me out.  I want to be a godly Christian not a show off Christian.  I don't want this to be yet another source of pride in my long list of struggles with pride....so lame.  My second fear is that this would turn into yet another thing that I procrastinate on.  (Let us pause and find humor in the fact that my two most obnoxious habits both start with 'pr', pride and procrastination which I will probably write about in a poem some day.)  I have been praying and wondering over these two issues for the past year. 
Pride and Procrastination...the saga of a youngish unpublished writer...Well, the Lord answered as He always does...
Why should I shut up my creativity and assume that putting my name on anything automatically takes away the glory from God?  God didn't tell David to shut up when he was singing all those psalms in the Bethlehem hills to his little lambsies.  God didn't tell C S Lewis to shut up when He was writing the coolest allegorical books of all time.  God didn't tell John Newton to shut up when he was pouring his heart into the most tear jerking hymn of God's redemption.  It seems so shallow now how I thought it wasn't honoring to the Lord to share what I write.  Yes, in my sin I can turn it into pride but oh the JOY that is before me just to enjoy you enjoying what I enjoy!  I don't hear the Lord telling me to shut up...so I won't.
I think I know how to solve my procrastination problem but those who read my blog might have to be the ones that suffer.  I don't do well working by myself.  I need a sounding board.  I need to know that someone will see this at a set time so I actually get some steady work done.  I don't have any writing friends or a writers club and I am not in a season of life that I can go off gallivanting whenever I want to find such things.  I have a set amount of time every evening to myself and little people asleep in there beds whom I am watching over so I'm not going anywhere.  It's a good thing this blog is called half made because I think I'll be showing a lot of that.  I just need to know that some one else is seeing it.  That makes it fun for me and motivating.
As of today I have one picture book almost completely illustrated by my AMAZING illustrator friend and a plan to self publish hopefully some time early next year.  I have four completed picture books awaiting illustrations from my illustrator (MY illustrator not yours) and I can not be more excited about this.  I don't know how long this will all take, I don't care if I don't make any money, I don't mind if they never get put next to Sandra Boynton's books because, you know what?  I am having fun making my kids laugh with our little books that I wrote about them and I want to share them with your kids and this is just so much FUN and I can hardly stand all the fun I'm having! 
I am embracing the writer nerd in me.  It is a very natural part of my day to write stories, poems, plays,and songs with my kids.  How amazing is this life the Lord has given me!  You know what athletes? Writers have cool scriptures too.  "For we are His workmanship(poem) created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. (Eph 2:10)  I am God's poem and I am half made!  I love the first verse in Psalm 45 that says...
"My heart is overflowing with a good theme; I recite my composition concerning the King; My tongue is the pen of a ready writer."
I feel like that all day long...my heart really is overflowing with a good theme. 
I guess I've told you everything.
Pray that the other 'pr' words stay away and take care to remind me that I have no inner athlete and I should just stick to my writing.  And also...you are God's poem.  Sleep on that promise.

Some Random Facts

In a meadow you frolic
In a swamp you lurk
In a forest you wander
In a roller coaster you jerk


In a salt sea you float
In a submarine you sink
In a jet you zoom
In a library you think


In a box you are stuffy
In a parachute you are airy
In a monkey suit you are silly
In a lion's mouth you are daring


But there is one place
Where each item plays a part
You zoom, lurk, wander, jerk, and sink
At none other than Walmart

Confounded Mess

Before there was sin
Mosquitoes gave you kisses
After there was sin
They bite and never misses

Before there was sin
Flys never came inside
After there was sin
They come in and grin

Before there was sin
Howler monkeys only crooned
After there was sin
They even wake the moon!

Before there was sin
Lions ate veggie burgers
After there was sin
They take their zebra with two sugars

But don't you fret and don't you worry
God is coming and I hope He'll hurry
Because this place is in great distress
He'll straighten out this confounded mess

A Navy Wife's Wilderness

I don’t see how the woman in Wal-Mart knew I was a military wife with a husband on deployment.  I only had one kid in the cart, one kid in my back carrier and one kid dangling from the side and a look of young-mother-all-alone-in-the-world bedazzling from my saggy eyes.  How did she know? I speak sarcastically; of course it was very obvious.  She said hi to the squirrely kids and walked away.  About five minutes later she was back in front of me with tears in her eyes.  She said, “Thank you for all you do for our country and for all the sacrifices your family makes for us.”

That was the first time I really felt truly and completely a part of what my husband does when he deploys.  No longer did I feel like only my husband was protecting our country but I felt a part of it.  That woman’s tears did wonders for my broken heart.

When my husband leaves it’s like someone takes away one of my hands and then asks me to do a job that needs four.  It’s like half my mind is not capable of completing thoughts but the tasks at hand require my full brain capacity plus half of my husband’s.  It’s overwhelming, lonely, and so isolating….all the things I fear.  It’s unimaginably sad to see him walk away from my arms and onto a ship or an airplane knowing that tomorrow he won’t be there to squeeze my hand when I need it or stay up and watch a movie with me or put his arm around me in church.

It’s my wilderness time…it’s my Elijah time…

I always go back to Elijah’s story in I Kings 19 where God reveals Himself to Elijah in His still small voice.  During deployments all I hear sometimes are the earthquakes and the fire and wind ripping rocks from mountains just like the story goes…

I pray…I pray…and I pray…all I want to hear in this wilderness is that still small voice.

And I always do.  

 I am half way through this deployment and half way truly is the hardest part…but I hear His voice.  I really do.

God used ravens to feed Elijah in the wilderness and I’m so sorry to have to call you guys ravens but that’s the only way this analogy will work.  Thank you ravens for sustaining me in the wilderness.  Even an entire church cannot replace my husband but I thank you for all that you do. 

Military wives mainly need just two things: someone to step up and take over the occasional task that is usually done by the husband’s brain and someone to step up and go let the military wife rest her own brain for a while.  Thank you for being mindful of my brain.  It becomes very cranky and unmanageable when it doesn’t get its rest.

Another woman gave me a far different reaction then the first one I mentioned.  She was watching me lining up my kids and looked at me in shock and said, “He left you to take care of four kids by yourself?”  That did not give me the warm fuzzies but it does help me to point out that military wives do not need sympathy.  We chose this life knowing full well that deployments are inevitable.  I never want to feel sorry for myself.  That leads down the path of bitterness and every night eatings of crates of chocolate ice cream.  No, I prefer the first woman’s reaction to keep my chin up and a frequent reading of I Kings 19.

We each have our God-given wilderness…this one is mine…don't worry, I'm sure you'll get your own someday.

Through all the sleepless nights, and the PB&J dinners, and the misbehaving toddlers, and the broken cars, and broken faucets and the broken computers I can truly say that “Unless the Lord had been my help, my soul would soon have settled in silence.  If I say, “My foot slips,” Your mercy, O Lord, will hold me up.” Psalm 94:17-18