Saturday, April 12, 2014
I Don't Love My Children More Than You Love Yours
This is more of an apology blog post then the usual blah blah ones that I write. My heart has softened a lot over the years of being a mother. Mostly, because I’ve made so many mistakes and done so many not so godly things that God has really broken me down from my prideful, self- righteous view on my walk with the Lord. I tell you this because I want you to know that I am sorry. I want you to know that I was wrong. I want you to know that if I made you feel like my faith is greater than yours that I really truly am sorry. I am down on my knees begging your forgiveness because I’m about to write a blog post on my passion for homeschooling but I don’t want to do it in a self-righteous way.
Every Christian mother needs to reach THIS point in their Christian mothering...
YOUR LEVEL OF MOTHERLY SACRIFICE OF TIME, TALENT, PAIN, MONEY, SHARING YOUR WOMB, AND SO ON DOES NOT RAISE OR LOWER THE LEVEL OF LOVE YOU HAVE FOR YOUR CHILDREN….NOR THE FAITH YOU HAVE IN GOD.
I DO NOT love my children more than you because I homeschool them and you do not. I did not love my babies more because I chose natural childbirth and breastfeeding and you did not. I do not love myself more than God because I have four children and you have eight. AND I REFUSE to condemn what you have chosen to sacrifice for God whatever that might be.
There is no math involved when it comes to loving the Lord and living for Him. I gave Him nothing. He gave His everything to die on the cross and save me from my nothing. I give my time to educate my children. That does not give me more Christian points than you. No math going on here. None.
I am not the one with the greater faith than you. You are not the one with the lesser faith than me. I homeschool because it’s the song that God plays for me and I just have to get up and dance and sing because that’s our song. ..just the Lord and I…nothing to do with you. I am so sorry I made you feel smaller than me. I’m so sorry I made you feel like you need to like that same song that wasn’t even written for you in the first place.
A well-known Bible verse that most people think of when it comes to this subject is David’s psalm 51:17.
“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and a contrite heart…”
David wrote that after He broke God’s commandment and sinned with Bathsheba.
This is so beautiful. He disobeyed God. God forgave Him. David recognized that God wanted His heart above any sacrifice he could make.
I am a sinner. I have broken God’s commandments. I choose to recognize that God wants my willing and obedient heart over any sacrifice I could make to Him.
So do you forgive me? Because I’m going to start working on a homeschool post and I need you to not think that I think that my faith is greater than yours. Homeschooling is my calling. I love it. You can tell me about your passions if you want but if it’s ice fishing, or video games, or bowling I might fall asleep or slap you in the face and then I’ll have to write another apology post.
I love you a little and God loves you a lot. K bye