This is more of an apology blog post then the usual blah
blah ones that I write. My heart has
softened a lot over the years of being a mother. Mostly, because I’ve made so many mistakes
and done so many not so godly things that God has really broken me down from my
prideful, self- righteous view on my walk with the Lord. I tell you this because I want you to know
that I am sorry. I want you to know that
I was wrong. I want you to know that if
I made you feel like my faith is greater than yours that I really truly am
sorry. I am down on my knees begging
your forgiveness because I’m about to write a blog post on my passion for
homeschooling but I don’t want to do it in a self-righteous way.
Every Christian mother needs to reach THIS point in their
Christian mothering...
YOUR LEVEL OF MOTHERLY SACRIFICE OF TIME, TALENT, PAIN,
MONEY, SHARING YOUR WOMB, AND SO ON DOES NOT RAISE OR LOWER THE LEVEL OF LOVE
YOU HAVE FOR YOUR CHILDREN….NOR THE FAITH YOU HAVE IN GOD.
I DO NOT love my children more than you because I homeschool
them and you do not. I did not love my
babies more because I chose natural childbirth and breastfeeding and you did
not. I do not love myself more than God
because I have four children and you have eight. AND I REFUSE to condemn what you have chosen
to sacrifice for God whatever that might be.
There is no math involved when it comes to loving the Lord
and living for Him. I gave Him
nothing. He gave His everything to die
on the cross and save me from my nothing.
I give my time to educate my children. That does not give me more
Christian points than you. No math going
on here. None.
I am not the one with the greater faith than you. You are not the one with the lesser faith than
me. I homeschool because it’s the song
that God plays for me and I just have to get up and dance and sing because that’s
our song. ..just the Lord and I…nothing to do with you. I am so sorry I made you feel smaller than
me. I’m so sorry I made you feel like
you need to like that same song that wasn’t even written for you in the first
place.
A well-known Bible verse that most people think of when it
comes to this subject is David’s psalm 51:17.
“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and a
contrite heart…”
David wrote that after He broke God’s commandment and sinned
with Bathsheba.
This is so beautiful.
He disobeyed God. God forgave
Him. David recognized that God wanted
His heart above any sacrifice he could make.
I am a sinner. I have
broken God’s commandments. I choose to
recognize that God wants my willing and obedient heart over any sacrifice I
could make to Him.
So do you forgive me?
Because I’m going to start working on a homeschool post and I need you
to not think that I think that my faith is greater than yours. Homeschooling is my calling. I love it. You can tell me about your passions if you
want but if it’s ice fishing, or video games, or bowling I might fall asleep or
slap you in the face and then I’ll have to write another apology post.
I love you a little and God loves you a lot. K bye
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