I have to start this subject off with a shout out to my
favorite man. When I met him he was a
twenty-year-old man not a twenty-year-old boy.
That is because he had parents that raised him to be a grown man not a
grown boy and because he has a Savior that forgives and saves. My husband is a Navy Recruiter. He talks to boys all day who are on the brink
of becoming a man. He talks to boys that
were raised to be men and he talks to boys that have been raised to be boys and
will probably remain boys for most of their life. Maybe they join the Navy and the Navy turns
them into men in spite of their parents raising them to be grown boys. He sees these two opposites walk in and out
of that door ALL DAY LONG.
He tells me all the time…
“Wife of mine, we are raising our boys to be grown men NOT
grown boys.” (paraphrased)
At this very moment...I…well…
I feel like I’m raising SQUIRILLS…
They’re. Just. So. Squirrelly. And naughty.
If you follow my Instagram you see all the clever, silly,
wonderful moments. Every other moment
they’re being naughty squirrels! I don’t
Instagram that because that’s just rude but it’s true! The other day we were in Winco and two of the
squirrels took turns slugging each other in the stomach as hard as they could. Then when we were in Costco an hour later they
were taking turns says ‘I love you.’ A
lady stopped and told me how wonderful it was to hear them and how well-behaved
they were. I smiled at her and smiled at
them. Inside my head I was thinking, “Yes,
the little dear things. I’m going to
take them home and ground them for life and then I’m going to eat an entire bar
of chocolate with no one touching me or talking to me.”
Yes, those little dear squirrels.
How do I turn the squirrels into boys that turn into men…
I don’t know. How am
I supposed to know! My oldest squirrel
in only eight! You tell me how in the world
I do this. If you saw me in Winco you
could plainly see that I have no idea what I’m doing. Moms ask me boy advice all the time. I give it freely and then I go home to my
boys and feel like I need to call that mom back and tell her I actually have no
idea what I’m talking about.
Here it goes anyway…
I know these three things to be absolutely helpful. They have proven themselves over the eight
years of raising my boys to be absolutely fruitful. I know they are a vital part of raising boys
to be grown men and not grown boys. When
it comes time for them to walk through the doors of a Navy recruiter office, or
a job interview or their own front door to take care of their wife and kids it
WILL BARE FRUIT, darn it!
I said FRUITFUL not FOOL-Proof.
Fruitful: you garden goodness into their souls and God grows
the results over time.
Fool-proof: I gardened into those squirrelly souls all year
so there is no way that they would or should disobey.
I know my boys are going to make foolish choices. I still do.
They might walk away from everything I taught them. I know God will give them the choice. I put all this spiritual work in so that
their lives may be fruitful for Jesus but it will be their choice when they
leave my home. Ephesians 2:8-9 says, “For
by GRACE you have been saved through faith and that not of your selves. It is a gift of God, not of works, lest
anyone should boast.”
It does NOT say, “For by my parents I have been saved
because they didn’t let me get away with anything.”
Please, please, please stop freaking out….raise your kids
the way God says to because it will be fruitful not fool-proof. You change that mind-set and you will do a
lot less freaking out. God gives you
grace every day. He’ll do the same for
your kids when they’re grown.
I know these three things apply to your girls too. My girl is calm and quick to please (though
there’s trouble hidden in that but that’s a different blog post). My boys are wild and squirrelly. My girl takes up about a square foot of
space. My boys need an acre if you want
to keep your hearing and your sanity.
These three rules are instrumental with keeping the squirrels
from taking over your house.
1NO TALKING BACK. No
negotiating. You give an instruction, they
do it. You say sweep the floor. They say “Yes Ma’am” and get off their
keester and do it. Remember I said this will be fruitful not fool-proof. My kids still talk back and then I usually
say “Drop and give me thirty burpees” and then we move on with our day. Don’t you let them talk back and if they do,
give them a consequence. I teach your squirrelly
boys. I can tell the ones that get to negotiate. I can also tell the boys that don’t get to
negotiate and are just squirrelly like mine.
Can’t hide a negotiator. They are
the crazy rabid squirrels.
OWN UP TO MISTAKES.
They will mess up. Teach them to
take responsibility for their mistakes.
Teach them that the people around them will always be affected by their
choices. Their mistakes could ruin
plans, feelings, and things. What they
do matters. They need to care about
caring.
SQUIRREL MUST EXERCISE.
Get them outside. Running,
digging, gallivanting…maybe not the last one.
The couch will ruin lives. I mean
it. I’ve seen it. When a boy is using
his physical energy in sports and outside play that’s all the less energy he’s
using on driving you crazy with the squirrelly-ness. I put the boys in wrestling this year. I know, right? Nothing more manly than that. I saw improvement in their
self-awareness. They are learning how to
direct their boundless energy. To get
out there and conquer something with your physical strength should be VERY much
encouraged in your boys. Sometimes they
use that energy to slug each other in the stomach in Winco but we’re going for
fruitful, for crying out loud!
This list is not exhaustive but I’m
exhausted. It’s hard to live with
squirrels.
Behold…
If they just learn the above three
things what kind of grown up would walk into my husband’s recruiting
office? A grown man or a grown boy? Does he respect authority? Will he be man enough to own up to his
mistakes? Will he rise up in manly
strength and fight the good fight?
I say let’s do this! I say let’s turn these squirrels into men!
Hold on. I need another cup of coffee first.
Okay. Now let’s do this.